Romans 6:4English Standard Version (ESV)
We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.
Lyrics from Hillsong, Beneath the Waters -
This is my revelation
Christ Jesus crucified
Salvation through repentance
At the cross on which He died
Now here my absolution
Forgiveness for my sin
And I sink beneath the waters
That Christ was buried in
I will rise
I will rise
As Christ was raised to life
Now in Him
Now in Him
I live
I stand a new creation
Baptized in blood and fire
No fear of condemnation
By faith I'm justified
I rise as You are risen
Declare Your rule and reign
My life confess Your Lordship
And glorify Your Name
Your word it stands eternal
Your kingdom knows no end
Your praise goes on forever
And on and on again
No power can stand against You
No curse assault Your throne
No one can steal Your glory
For it is Yours alone
I stand to sing Your praises
I stand to testify
For I was dead in my sin
But now I rise
I will rise
As Christ was raised to life
Now in Him
Now in Him
I live!
On August 5th, 2014, I graduated Harvest School and got re-baptized in the Indian ocean in Pemba, Mozambique. It was an incredible experience and I'd like to tell that story and the day surrounding it here. :)
Tuesday August 5th was graduation day for Harvest School. The day was long-awaited for all of us. It was hard to believe we were already graduating, but I was so ready and excited for Cambodia and whatever came next. We had all been told that graduation could very well be an all day event. I was trying to prepare myself for that as I knew it could be exhausting. Miraculously we had running water all day on graduation day! That morning my housemates and I all took a little more time than normal (which still isn't much) to get ready, put on a little makeup and try to look nice for graduation. Once we were all ready, we walked to the church and were greeted by a sea of happy, excited faces and bright colored, Iris t-shirts, which we received to wear that day. Before we went inside the church there was a whole lot of picture taking and selfies going on.
First thing on the agenda for the day was group photos with our color group, Heidi, Rolland and some other key leaders. As we waited for our turn (which took quite awhile with 24 groups!) we sat with our group and chatted and hung out. After we got our picture taken, I ran back to the house to change my clothes because we were doing our dance we had been working on!
Before we danced, another group did a dance/drama that they had done for class. Over the summer, each group was required to put on a skit of a missionary's life for the rest of student body. This particular group did a very moving drama on Heidi's life. It was beautiful to say the least. I haven't seen a video of it yet, but if I find one, I will post the link.
Myself and two other Harvest students had the privilege of teaching dance to some of the girls from the children's home on Friday mornings. We got to perform a dance with them that we had been working on. It was fun to dance with them. They were often kind of shy, but they smiled and came alive on stage and I think they had fun. :)
My beautiful dancer friends
After the dance with the girls, we did our student dance that we collaborated on. It was really powerful. I could feel God's presence the whole time we were dancing. One of our dancers encouraged us all to be praying and interceding as we were dancing, especially times we were just "waiting" or standing still. I really did that and it got me so excited and pumped up. If you haven't seen the video yet, here's a link to it. Enjoy and feel free to share!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLEfcVlJ6YI&list=UUqAjonyJtpCb2VR4DdGswcA
The day continued and included some worship time, crazy african dancing time and some preaching/commissioning. The last part of the day was our official "graduating," which in Harvest School fashion includes all of the staff and guest speakers lining up making a tunnel for us to walk through as our name is called. After our name was called, we walked through the tunnel (fire-tunnel is what they call it) and all of the leaders prayed for us, blessed us and commissioned us. It was a powerful time and many people came through the tunnel barely able to walk or needing to be carried out, having powerful encounters with Jesus. I was definitely touched by God as I went through the prayer tunnel, but nothing too crazy happened and I left a little disappointed. I had been praying and expecting for some kind of completion, sealing, and full outpouring. I was so hungry for everything God had for me and I wanted to know that I was leaving having received everything I possibly could. After I was prayed for, thoughts of disappointment and confusion tried to creep in. I had to fight it for a little bit and finally gave it over to God and settled in my heart that He is good and He can do whatever he wants, whether it seems like what I was hoping for to experience or not. Who knows what he might be doing in my heart or teaching me. So I tried not to allow feelings of disappointment to ruin the day and I left it in God's hands knowing that whatever that day looked like or didn't look like, it didn't change everything he had done in me all summer.
Earlier that day (or the day before. I can't remember) we were told there would be and opportunity to be baptized. I hadn't really thought about it a lot, but something in my spirit felt like I was supposed to do it. I wrestled with it for a little while because I was baptized when I was twelve and I didn't really know how I felt about getting baptized twice. After thinking and praying about it some more I decided that I wanted to do it. This time rather than just a declaration of faith and salvation, but a sealing of everything God had done and transformed in my heart, a complete dying to myself and union with Jesus. I also wanted it to be a declaration and confirmation of the Holy spirit in me. Only one of my other housemates was going to get baptized. For her it was the first time. That alone I felt was such a God thing. We definitely connected and she is also from Ohio. I feel like having that experience together with her was really significant. I know our paths will continue to cross and who knows how we may connect or minister together in the future! If you read this, this is a shout-out to you! I love you Diana!!!!
After we got back from graduation, we had to rush to get a ride on the truck over to the place they were holding the baptisms. No time to change clothes or anything. I was able to grab a towel though, thankfully. :)
When we got to the location we were doing the baptisms, we got out of the truck and walked down to the beach. A number of the staff and leaders went out into the water to get ready to baptize us. I'd say there were about 20 of us getting baptized, but I'm not sure. We all lined up and waited for our turn. I was somewhere in the middle of the line. When we first got there, Heidi was out in the water helping to baptize people. I can't say I'd really had any "starstruck" moments being with her all summer. I tried my best to see her and Rolland as the normal people they are who have just given everything to Jesus and allowed him to use them. On this day though, I can't help but admit that the thought did cross my mind of how cool it would be to be baptized by the one and only Heidi Baker. The subconscious thought was also there that of course she has some kind of special anointing that the other staff wouldn't have and I would get an extra dose of Jesus from her baptizing me. (All silly thoughts of course) All this to say that God really does have a sense of humor. When there were just a few people left in front of me in line, Heidi walked out of the water towards us, splashing some water on us and saying "remember your baptism!" At first I was really confused, then I realized that she was leaving. She had some kind of meeting with the government that she had to get to. At that point I was just like, "Ok, Jesus. You got me. Very funny." :P He reminded me and my human mind that it's not about anyone else, just about him. It doesn't matter the circumstances, surroundings or people who are there, He can still move whenever and however he wants to. He doesn't need anyone, but he still chooses to use us.
I don't remember when exactly, but at some point I realized that all of my housemates had come over to the beach to support us and to see Diana and I get baptized. It was such a great feeling to have them there. They are and always will be my sisters!
As people went in to be baptized, everyone was getting powerfully touched by the Holy Spirit. It was exciting to see. I remember one girl they didn't even have to baptize her because the Holy Spirit hit her so hard she fell down into the water on her own. Haha. My friend and housemate, Diana was right in front of me in line, so I got to see her baptism. She shared a little of her testimony (which is powerful!) and she got touched by Jesus when she was baptized.
Next it was my turn! I was excited, nervous and expectant all at the same time. It wasn't a super hot or sunny day, so as I walked out into the water is was a bit chilly. There were half-naked (probably some completely naked), curious little African kids swimming all around us. When I got out to where the staff were, they asked me to share my name and a little bit of my testimony and why I had chosen to get baptized. I was getting emotional already, just thinking about all that God had done in me that summer and how grateful and privileged I felt to have all of the experiences and opportunities I had been given. As I opened my mouth to speak, I was choked up already and could feel God's presence on me. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and love for him. When I finished, the people who were doing the baptizing had me sit down in the water. They prayed and spoke some things over me. I don't remember what all was said, but something I do remember was something along the lines of that God had seen my heart and heard my cry. That was meaningful to me. As they baptized me, they all laid hands on me and then put me under the water in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Coming up out of the water I really can't explain what I felt. I felt a lot of things and it's hard to put it into words. I was overwhelmed by God's love, his presence, his power, his healing, cleansing, forgiveness, his spirit. When I stood up from the water, everyone put their hands on my head and began to pray for me. Almost instantly, I felt the power of the Holy Spirit and my knees gave out and I collapsed back down into the water. It took a little while for me to be able to stand up again. I was weeping and laughing all at the same time. All of my housemates were screaming and cheering for me. Everyone was so supportive and excited to see God touching me. As I walked out of the water, I was met by the tunnel of amazing people ready to pray for me and pour into me every bit of Jesus that was inside of them. I was kind of in another world and almost tripped over a kid on the way out. Lol.
As I walked through the line, I continued to feel God's power touch me and continued to find it hard to stand. Once I got to the end of the line I was on my knees just worshipping and soaking in all of God's goodness and presence. I wanted to take in and remember every bit of that moment that I could. I don't know how long I stayed there or remember what exactly happened. The next thing I remember is hugging my housemates and feeling so full of joy. One of them had filmed my baptism for me, so when I got my phone back, I watched it. -Ok, pause for a little back-story here-
I've mentioned before that joy is a huge thing at Iris. As it should be anywhere where Jesus is involved. There were many times where I had seen people touched with the Joy of the Lord to where they would be rolling on the floor laughing uncontrollably. I have to be honest, sometimes it annoyed me, but that was because I had never experienced it, didn't completely understand it or was even envious at times. There were times I felt a little bit of that joy or started to laugh a little bit in worship or ministry time, but I never felt a complete release and overflow of uncontrollable joy. I began to long for it and pray for it. I wanted to experience the fullness that God had for me in every area. There were definitely times that I got frustrated because I went up when people were praying for joy and everyone else was filled and laughing. And once I even ended up crying when everyone else was laughing. That's another aspect of God's sense of humor with me. He loves to bless me and give me good gifts, but I feel like it's almost always in a different way and at a different time than I would expect or hope for, and usually looks different than everyone else. Anyway, with all of that said, I had prayed and asked God to be able to experience that complete, uninhibited, uncontrollable joy before I left. I wanted to experience everything that he had for me, leaving no rock left unturned, so to speak.
Ok, back to the baptism. Up until this point I hadn't experienced that joy in the way I was longing for, but I was trusting God that he was good no matter what. As I got my phone back, I watched the video of my baptism, and as I saw how God had touched me, I was filled with joy and just started laughing. I remember hugging a couple of my housemates and they were also filled with joy and started laughing. As I was laughing and being filled with the joy of the Holy Sprit, I couldn't stand up and ended up on the ground again laughing harder than I had in a long time, if not ever. I feel like my sense of humor takes something unique to make me laugh and I'm not one of those people that laughs at anything or laughs hard often, so for that to happen, I knew it was God. I just felt so blessed. As if the baptism and touch of the Holy Spirit wasn't enough, this was just an over-the-top blessing. Icing on the cake. And isn't that just like God? He's never late! My last day in Pemba he decided to completely overwhelm me and powerfully seal everything he had been doing in me. He wasn't going to let me go home feeling like I hadn't gotten everything I came for. If you ask Him for the Holy Spirit, He will give it, we just have to trust him. His ways and his timing are perfect!
I just remember that day walking away in disbelief, so filled, saying "I can't believe this happened. God is so good. This has been the best day of my life." I didn't care one bit about the wet sand that was all over my clothes, on my face and in my hair. I didn't care that by the time we got back to base all of the promised and long-awaited fried chicken was gone. All that mattered was Jesus and what he was doing in me.
I can't really explain what happened or happens when you're filled with the Holy Spirit or why God sometimes chooses to fill us with joy to the point of uncontrollable laughter. It doesn't seem logical or practical to the human mind. But I know that in a few minutes of joy in His presence, he can do a whole lot of healing, restoration, strengthening and most of all pouring out his love. Sometimes He speaks to us through a deep theological sermon, or through his word, but sometimes he speaks to us through simply manifesting his presence in us and giving us a tangible expression of His love. You can't be in his presence, you can't feel his love or his touch without being forever changed. And that, my friend, I am.
I am attaching a link to the video of my baptism. It's an unlisted video so you can only see it by clicking on this link. I feel a little vulnerable sharing this video, as it is so personal and precious to me. But as they say "a picture's worth a thousand words" I feel like this video is worth ten-thousand for me. If you're not used to this kind of manifestation of the Holy Spirit it may be a little weird to you, but I pray that it would touch you as God touched me!
Thanks for reading!