A Light For the Nations: Jesus eh bom!

It's been an amazing last full week here in Pemba.

I've been through some dry weeks where I didn't really feel like God was doing anything and I started to get complacent and just go through the motions. That was definitely hard for me, especially after I felt like God did so much the first couple weeks. But I feel like this week there has been more breakthrough and I'm getting past the dry spell.

I feel like this week God has been reminding me and confirming in me the things he's already done this summer. He's been showing me his love and intimacy in different ways and also reminding me what I carry and what's inside of me that he put there, even when most of the time I doubt it or question it.

God can almost always get my attention through his creation. I feel his love through creation so often. That's been kind of big this week. The other night I was laying outside alone (rare moment!) just looking up the stars and enjoying being with Jesus. I wasn't really praying intensely or doing anything super spiritual, but I just felt connected to Jesus and although it may sound weird to some people, I felt like I was on a date, just hanging out with him. That's how I often feel when I spend time with him especially in his creation. I was overcome with love for him and his love for me as I looked up at the stars and reflected on all that he was doing in me and through me. As I lay there I saw two shooting stars in the span of a couple minutes. I lay there for quite awhile just looking at the stars, laughing and basking in his presence. For some reason I really wanted to see one more shooting star before I went to bed so I asked God to let me see another one, because I know he loves to give good gifts to his children. As I lay there I told him I wouldn't be disappointed if I didn't and I still knew he was good. (Because I've done the opposite before and been disappointed when I didn't get what I asked for) I told myself I would stay outside till 9:30 if I didn't see one. I waited awhile and finally saw one more! I looked down at my phone and it was 9:29. Haha, Jesus is so good to me! I don't deserve it, but he loves me, so why not?!

The next morning I decided it was time to climb the baobab tree again, this time to see the sun rise over the ocean. Again, I had a great time, being in nature and spending time with Jesus, being his friend and lover, enjoying him and knowing he was delighting in me.

Pictures!! What do you expect from me?!? I climbed up with a bag so I had my phone and some other stuff ;)

Another cool nature experience happened this week. Lol. Story of my life apparently. I feel like a hippy or something. I promise I'm not like a new-age sun-worshiper or something. Haha. Anyway, God has spoken to me a couple times through the wind. Nothing super crazy, but one time quite a few weeks ago, it was really windy and I felt like he showed me that the wind was like him dancing with me. He also reminded me of the verse comparing being led by the spirit to the wind. It's almost always windy here in Pemba (thank God or it would feel a lot hotter!) and I can honestly say one of the things I will miss the most is worshipping in the wind every day. (Our school building is just an open air shelter) I just feel his presence when the wind blows on my face. So the other day Julie Meyer (sp?) from IHOP was here leading worship. It was a very intimate time, more soaking style worship. So... I did just that. Aka I was really tired and fell asleep for like a half hour. Lol. Right when I woke up she started singing a prophetic song about God sending a tangible sign of his love in the wind. That wherever we go it will be a tangible reminder of his love. I was floored. I felt like God had her sing that just for me. And the best part is the last few days I've been audio recording worship, so I have a recording of it and can listen to it again! Yay Jesus. :)

Jesus has been drawing me closer to him and I'm falling deeper in love with him. He's so good. I've had a few instances where different people have prayed and prophesied over me very meaningful things, and some confirming other things that have been spoken over me or have been on my heart.

There have been days and moments where I've begun to doubt again the power of the Holy Spirit in me and my ability to hear his voice and walk in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. But Jesus is so kind and good to remind me. He doesn't say "Forget it. She doesn't believe and she's taken me and what I've given her for granted." Instead he's given me grace to step out and speak and see confirmation and others touched even after time and time again I say no to what I believe he asks me to do or speak. He always provides new opportunities. His mercies are new every morning and he never gives up on me. I never cease to be amazed and even shocked when I see him work through me or speak something that is actually confirmed. I guess that shows how much I still lack in faith and how gracious he is. If he can use me, someone who often prays and doesn't even fully believe what I'm praying or feel like I just made something up, he can use anyone! He can do whatever he wants and it most definitely doesn't depend on us!

Oh yeah, I can't forget last week one class was a crazy party. If you don't know Rolland or haven't heard him speak he is a crazy joy imparter. Sometimes he just spends half of his sermon knocking people over with the Holy Spirit and filling them with joy. One day last week, he didn't speak at all, the whole class was spent with people rolling around on the floor laughing and getting knocked out in the Spirit. It was really funny. It's crazy how things that were kind of weird at first are completely every-day to me now.

Ok, gotta throw some random, comic relief in here. The other day I was going to town with three other girls to do a little shopping. Our mode of transport is usually hitch-hiking. Yes. We hitch-hike in Mozambique. You can get a taxi (basically a random car with someone who charges you to give you a ride) or a bus (a large van that packs people in like sardines for a few cents) or you try to hitch hike for free. We found out it says on Wikipedia that hitch hiking in Mozambuqe is safe so no worries anyone. ;P anyways. This particular day a truck pulled over we talked and they seemed a little hesitant but didn't say any cost, so we said ok and hopped in. There was a big plastic pipe coil in the back of the pickup so we climbed in and tried to find space to sit. Three of us squeezed in corners around it and one girl climbed into the middle of the coil. We started bouncing down the road over tons of pot holes. They were driving a little faster than normal. I started bumping up and down and felt like I was about to fly out of the truck, so I dove into the middle of the pipe coil on top on my friend in the middle, so I was basically sitting on her lap. It was then we noticed a funny smell... No a bad smell. A sewage smell. And then we noticed the pipe coil had some dried dirt spots on it. Oh... Wait for it. Yes. I do believe I was hitch hiking, sitting on Diana's lap bumping down an African road in the back of a pick up in the middle of a sewage pipe coil. And to top it off there was a guy driving behind us leaning all the way out his window blowing kisses at us. No words... That was definitely an experience to remember.

It's so encouraging even to see God work through me in little ways because it builds my faith to get ready for what he wants to do through me in Cambodia. We had another meeting with our team and someone made a comment that we have the most "God stacked" team ever. Which is so true! I truly believe I get to go with some of the most amazing people God has created and I feel like our team is going to have so much unity and love for each other and for the people we will encounter. I seriously CAN NOT wait! Today God broke my heart specifically for children I will meet there and I am so excited to meet them and love on them. I feel like God is reviving my mothering heart which has been quenched some in the last few years. It's a very personal, vulnerable place for me but I look forward to what he will do. He basically showed me it may not look like what I would expect or hope for, but it will be more than I could imagine. I guess that's how he often works though. Haha.

This week Rolland gave probably my favorite message I've heard since I've been here. What was it about?:

JESUS. Period. Not miracles, not signs and wonders, not the power of the Holy Spirit, not the love of the father, not our standing as sons and daughters, not our commission to go to the nations, not compelling us to love the poor, but Jesus. The point of everything, the bottom line, our meaning, our purpose, our destination and our bridegroom. It was exactly my heart. Jesus is everything! I felt like it was so timely coming in the last week. After we've learned and experienced so much, and there have been so many guest speakers with so many different emphasises. In the end it all comes down to Jesus and a love relationship with him.

Don't know if you'll be able to read it, but if you're interested, rather than typing them out, here are my notes from that sermon. :)

I can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that I'll be leaving here and headed for Cambodia next Wednesday. This summer has drug on and flew by at the same time. But looking back I'd definitely say it's gone by insanely fast. Graduation is on Tuesday, which I'm sure will be a memorable event. I'm excited. I just want to finish strong and squeeze every last drop of what Jesus has for me out of this summer. He's good, he's good, he's good!

There's a rap song they sing here that says "Do you know that Jesus is good?! He's good! He's good!" It's a funny song but it's so true.

Headbands and skirts. Pemba attire.